Dinner with Boys

Dinner with Boys – 10 Things to Be Prepared For

10. Teenager asks, “Mom, when you were 15 what were you doing with your friends?” (My advice if you did anything like me, deflect and avoid the questions.)

9. Anything about vomiting, farting, burping, or dropping a deuce. Boys always want to talk about these items and always when we have company.

8. Almost pre-teen boy asks, “How much hair is going to be down there?” Not even close to being a pre-teen boy, “There is going to be hair WHERE????”

8. Jokes that start with – You know how I know…..

7. Say EYE. Spell M-A-P. Say NESS. Say it all together. (Did you really just try that??)

6. When a woman has a baby, does it really make a popping sound when it comes out?

5. Blonde and Yo Mama jokes (and since I am the Yo Mama, well it gets interesting at times)

4. Mom, what’s another word for va-jay-jay?

3. My teenage son had just finished Health & Sex-Ed and stated, “I know how babies are made.” Me, “Do you have any questions or anything you want to talk about?” Son, “I know what you and dad did to make my brothers.” Me, “Okay, do you have a question?” Son, “WAS I HOME????”

2. Mom my friend thinks you’re hot and it’s weird. Could you not be so pretty? Maybe look older?

1. One son tells Dad, “The Bean’s little boy parts were hard today.” Younger son announces, “That happens when guys look down mom’s shirt.”

(And before you ask yes these have all happened at our dinner table and sometimes in the presence of friends and family)