Where has time gone? Some of you might have been wondering where I have been, but I had to take some personal time and deal with some stuff. I received some very harsh and negative remarks regarding my last blog I wrote several months ago. It was very personal to me and I made the mistake of letting one person’s judgmental attitude and remarks question who I am. So, I have licked my wounds, put on my big girl panties, and am back. Because at the end of the day I am who I am and I am not going to pretend to be someone I am not. I kinda like me most days and am mad at myself that I let one person affect my self-esteem that much. So on that note, here is a disclaimer…
IF MY PERSONAL OPINIONS, REFLECTIONS, OR HOW I SAY THINGS OFFEND YOU, STOP READING MY BLOG.
SERIOUSLY, JUST DON’T READ IT.
Ok, for those of you are still with me, thanks for accepting me the way I am. ’nuff said about that.
Was anyone else as crazy excited as I was for school this year? Summer was brutal in my house. Everyone was ready to go back to school; even The Bean was ready for his brothers to get on out of here. I was browsing on facebook and there are hundreds of back to school photos and crying moms, and I kinda wonder if there is something broken in me. I currently have a 10th, 8th, 5th, & 3rd grader and never cried when any of them left for school. Not even kindergarten. Is that weird? Not that I don’t have any emotions, but I am just proud and excited, not even a hint of a tear. Let me explain our morning….
I drive my 8th grader (MT) to middle school (his last year there!!) and drop him off. There are parents everywhere. Mingling in with the kids, standing in the parking lot, hovering on the sidewalk, it was like Parental Invasion. I even saw parents I know, they aren’t newbies so that excuse doesn’t fly. WTH?? I asked MT if should wait with him and he looked like I punched him in the gut. He said no; please don’t get out of the car. I asked why, my pride slightly wounded – I mean, am I an embarrassment or something? His answer was dead on, “Because you raised me to be independent. I got this.” I know he is right. I want my boys to be strong men, able to stand on their own two feet no matter what. But still….
I sighed, “No one needs me. No one wants me to hold their hand.” I did the fake pout hoping I will at least get an ‘I love you’ from my too-grown teenager. He opens the door and says, “Nope I got this school thing down.” He leaned back in the car, “School’s easy. But when I leave for boot camp I might need you to hold my hand for a minute.” He shut the door and walked away. It wasn’t an ‘I love you’ but it was enough.
I walked Wrestlemania and Mr. T to school. They are old pros at this. Hanging out with their friends and chatting, introducing our newest kindergartner Hurricane to the mix. I hang back and just watch at how much they have grown. Mr. T is SCA VP and very popular so as soon as he arrives he falls into the mix of friends. I get a wave and he is off. Wrestlemania is following in his brother’s footsteps as Mr. Popular but I still manage to get a hug from him and several of his friends. One friend asks me where my camera is and I tell him it’s at home. He gives me a hug and says, “You’re a cool mom, Mrs. K” (and yes all the kids call me Mama K or Mrs. K, not sure why exactly…..) Wrestlemania touches his finger to his eye, then to his heart, and points to me. It’s a thing we did years ago to say I love you when he would get nervous being apart from me. I do the same to him and walk away. I notice a mom off to the side breaking down and I don’t know who I feel worse for her or her kid (who is now equally as hysterical as mom is). I wanna tell her it will be ok, that going to school is an exciting adventure, but I don’t. It’s her moment.
I say my goodbyes to Hurricane who says he will make sure Wrestlemania and Mr. T are good today in school. He looks nervous, so we chat for a minute and then he is giggling and I know he will be ok too. (Not like he is my son or anything, but I get protective over my almost-kids too!) I manage to pound out a 3 mile walk with The Bean who was more than ready to get some downtime. And naptime was so easy; it was like the Summer of Terror 2012 didn’t even happen.
And now I am here, writing for the first time in months. I feel good and excited about having a fresh start and a new outlook. I am pumped to be getting back to work tomorrow, excited to be settled back into a routine, but most of all I am proud of everything my kids have accomplished and looking forward to seeing them achieve their goals this school year. So I didn’t shed a tear, but for the mommas and daddies that are wondering where there baby went all I can say is enjoy it!! Be proud and happy, but don’t hold on to that baby to tight. Enjoy every grade, because pretty soon, you’ll be getting college brochures. It goes by FAST!
Oh, and if you have a kindergartner, start saving money now. Not for college (I mean that too if you can), but for High School. Some of the courses and materials are crazy expensive!!! I don’t remember paying out that much for anything in high school!
Well my dears I need to warm up my coffee and get some housework done. I hope your first days were awesome AND I hope tomorrow is just as good!!!!
(BTW: I didn’t leave the high schooler out of my morning mix on purpose, he gets up way early and The Hubster takes him to the bus stop on his way to work. However I do know The Mouth was more than ready for school to start last night, so I am sure he was ready to get going this morning!)